They say that confidence is sexy; and we know that feeling sexy makes you feel confident. So the question of the day is – Which came first?

Thinking back, I know of the time and place in my mind when it just “clicked” for me and I realized that I felt sexy. When this happened I felt myself walk differently and move differently, and I know this made me look and act more confident because men seemed to notice me more, and they made comments about me being sexy which then made me feel more confident.

And thinking about other people who are confident about a lot of things – how smart they are, how good they are at sports, and how much money they make – they might still lack sex appeal.

What I’m wondering is, if you’ve got one before you have the other – confidence vs. sex appeal – will the other one automatically just “show up” one day?

Will the genius guy who makes lots of money and plays basketball and works out 4 times a week who doesn’t feel like women are attracted to him be able to one day suddenly feel attractive and sexy? Can he be convinced that he’s as appealing to women as he is to his employer’s bottom line? Or is he screwed (figuratively, of course.)

Or is it more likely that the man who feels sexy to women already will have confidence (already) and then that confidence will move into other areas (his work and his athletic performance and more?)

It’s an interesting question and one that might be fun to observe. Scientists have been debating the chicken and the egg theory for a long time, and when they’re finished maybe they can move on to confidence versus sex appeal, which might be just a bit more fun. I know which one I’d rather study.